Lessons For My Daughter From Some Really Great Mothers

Last year I did a Father's Day post entitled "Lessons For My Sons From Some Really Great Fathers". So this year, for Mother's Day, I wanted to highlight a few really great mothers who have shaped my perception of motherhood. To me, these women are a beacon of strength, accomplishment, goodness, love, and beauty. And when I think about them, I am amazed at the magnitude and width of their influence - not just in their own families but across the world and throughout generations. They make me feel so proud to be a mother.

Mom

Are there even enough words to describe my mother? She is adventurous, fun-loving, determined, principled, an accomplished pianist and musician, a talented teacher, a rancher, an animal lover, a story-teller, and world traveler. She'd be up before the sun, in the dead of winter, with a pitchfork throwing hay to the horses from the back of the farm truck and then in the kitchen squeezing orange juice and rolling dough to make scones with honey butter. In the evening you might find her outside at the fire pit roasting (charring) marshmallows and telling her fabulous impromptu stories. Or at the piano filling our home with Liszt's "Un Sospiro" - her favorite. During the Winter you'll find her on the ski slopes. And in the Summer, backpacking through the Uintah's. She does everything - really.
She taught High School Russian and watched as dozens of her students later served missions there. For years (while we were young) she held down the fort (doing a million things at once - like always) while my dad traveled frequently to South America on humanitarian expeditions. Later she often accompanied him and even did some humanitarian projects on her own. After a trip to Africa (and falling in love with the Kenyan people), she convinced my dad to go to Africa too. My mom and I were with him on his first (eye-opening) visit to Ethiopia. When I was twelve, I toured England with the Youth Symphony. My mom tagged along (chaperoned). Afterward, we took off on our own, backpacking throughout Europe - just the two of us - sleeping in train stations, eating way too much Swiss chocolate, doing and seeing a million things a day, and visiting my grandparents at the mission home in Friedrichsdorf. That's how cool my mom is.
My mom continually magnifies her church callings at home and abroad, serves in the community, loves the scriptures, and goes out of her way to teach and help those around her. And she is still the reigning champion multi-tasker. How can I possibly fill her shoes? I love you, mom.
Lessons For My Daughter:
1) Enjoy the beauties of the earth. The stars and mountains and blankets of snow.
2) Be kind to animals.
3) Use your best talents to bless and improve the lives of others.
4) The best way to know about a place is to go there. The best way to develop a skill is to practice. The best way to learn another language is to speak it. And the best way to love other people is to serve them. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Kathy

Everything Kathy touches is beautiful. That was my first thought when I visited her home in Seattle after Nate and I were married. She took me on a walking tour and I realized, as she pointed out particular paintings and the stories behind them, photographs of family and meaningful occasions, and decorations with significant sentimental value, that everything had a place - not just in her home but in her heart. I loved being there. She could also name every plant in her fabulous yard like it was a patch of heaven. Even when she was busy with very young children, Kathy was an ambitious, talented, creative, and classy mother. I love looking at those dreamy pictures of her when Nate was little. She served as the Relief Society President, created a theater's worth of home-sewn costumes, perfected a cookbook full of recipes (which I am forever grateful to own) and baked spectacular birthday cakes (as you can see in the picture)! It's just too bad her gene for making everything deliciously beautiful didn't pass to her sons like it did her daughters. (Check out Our Best Bites, Nate's sister's blog, for a taste of Kathy's talent: the next generation.)
Many of the attributes I admire in Nate come directly from Kathy - like her amazing work ethic, her desire to be thorough, and her striving for excellence in every endeavor. She is friendly and outgoing to everyone - always chatting with the person next to her in the check-out line. It's no wonder so many people adore her and appreciate her taking a genuine interest in them. But more recently Kathy has also become a spiritual role model for me and my children. During the last several years she has faced tremendous (scary) physical disabilities and emotional challenges but has remained strong in spirit and grounded in the gospel - standing upon her fervent testimony.
Lessons For My Daughter:
1) Enjoy the beautiful things in life: Bake them. Sew them. Create them. Build them. Plant them. And watch them grow.
2) Create a house of order. A house of prayer. A place of beauty and comfort. A refuge. A home.
3) Be thorough. If you're going to do something at all - do it right.
4) Smile. Take an interest in those around you. You can never have enough friends.
5) Rely on your testimony. It will prove to be your greatest strength.

Mommy Cannon

To me, my grandmother is the ultimate example of service, accomplishment, and humility. She literally spent most of her life on the Lord's errand, serving multiple missions with my grandfather across the globe and serving in the General Relief Society Presidency - while raising six outstanding children. A graduate of Wellesley College with a passion for language and literature (she would be horrified to read this blog and all its colloquialisms), my grandmother edited and authored numerous books, including three of my favorites, " "Women of the Covenant: The Story of Relief Society", "Together: A love story", and "Nauvoo Panorama." And my favorite of her (profound) talks, "Priorities in the Pursuit of Excellence". She also edited the Tabernacle Choir's newspaper, "Keeping Tab", during her 18 years singing with them. But out of all she's written, I think my favorite treasure is an itinerary she typed for the babysitter while she was away on a Relief Society speaking engagement. She details her day minute-by-minute. It's exhausting: Cut the boiled egg into eight pieces or Tenney won't eat it. Make sure to lock the back gate before Russell goes out to play. But unlock it again when the older children come home from school. Ann has already "agreed" to help with the laundry in the afternoon. Dress baby Myra in double-diapers and rubber pants before bed and make sure to safety pin her pajamas closed. Melissa is allowed to listen to the radio with Ned but only if she practices the piano first.
But as hectic as life must have been back then, the quality I remember best about my grandmother was her calm serenity. She never seemed in any rush - I loved watching her cut sandwiches and arrange food - slowly and perfectly. She always-always seemed to maintain a sweet eternal perspective and was often found reassuring others, "oh, it will all work out in the end." I remember one sunny afternoon at the ranch, Mommy Cannon showed my favorite cousin, Lindsey, and me a beautiful photograph of her mother, Oertel Rich. She told us both to look carefully at her mother's sweet face and to always remember. Then she told Lindsey, "One day you will recognize this face and she'll take care of you." My cousin passed away a few months later, at age 15. I will never forget that special moment at the ranch, the peace and assurance I felt later at my cousins funeral - and the beautiful connection I felt with my great-grandmother, whose mother I am named after.
Mommy Cannon lived simply and frugally her whole life. She wore hand-me-down clothes and rarely bought anything for herself. Her most valuable possessions, besides her books, were her unique and exotic nativity sets she collected while serving abroad and traveling for the church. A few years ago she gave me her hand-carved nativity set from Nigeria - my favorite. She died with all her affairs in order - every whit. Leaving her descendants a generous inheritance and an even more precious legacy - most of which she has already written.
Lessons For My Daughter:
1) Continually pursue your interests and develop and use your own talents - even throughout motherhood. Mothers who do, make for better mothers.
2) Do good and flourish wherever you are planted. Love, teach, serve and appreciate people from all parts of the world and all walks of life.
3) Gain and maintain an eternal perspective. Ground yourself in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
4) Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.
5) Write your story.

Grandma Joycie

I think my grandma's name suits her perfectly. She is the epitome of joy - humor, smiles, and laughter. When I was a little girl, I called her "funny grandma" and begged her to perform her rendition of Singin' in the Rain in her "funny voice" - which always had us smiling, laughing, and singing along. When she'd take us to the park, she was always the first to roll down the hill, climb to the top of the slide, and race us back to the car. She had silly nicknames and rhymes for each of us and we adored her. Her fingerplay, "Little Willy Wee One" is one of my boys' favorites.
Besides her sense of humor, Grandma Joyce is also one of the most generous people I know - always thoughtful and giving. She is classy and stylish and a phenomenal hostess. She enjoyed introducing us to all her friends - she has so many! We loved shopping with her at the department store because she kept up with all the trends - and because she knew everyone who worked there. Her house is a museum of beautiful and exotic antiques, fur coats, fancy hats, and gaudy jewelry for dressing up. My grandmother is also an accomplished playwright and musician. She wrote two of my favorite Christmas songs and the screenplay for the classic church film, "Pioneers in Petticoats". (A movie you simply MUST see.) She sang with the Salt Lake Oratorio Opera and I looked forward to her performance of Handel's "Messiah" every year.
But the thing that I treasure, love, and am most grateful to my grandmother for is that she adopted my dad - along with my four other aunts and uncles. I don't think anyone can know the difficulty, heartache, work, and joy of raising adopted children unless you've done it. My grandma is an amazing mother and I will always be grateful to her and Grandpa Sears for picking up my dad in San Francisco all those years ago and raising him to be such an outstanding person.
Lessons For My Daughter:
1) Fill your days with joy and laughter. . . and singing!
2) Treat others like dear friends - and that's what they'll become.
3) Be generous and thoughtful with all that you have. Give to others.

Happy Mother's Day!

And guess whose mom is flying into town today???

and whose son is speaking in Sacrament Meeting today?

and whose husband made pancakes and cleaned the whole house while I slept in this morning?

MINE! MINE! MINE!

I could not have wished for a better Mother's Day.

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