April Quote Book 2015

Clayton was using his phone for a homework assignment and quickly made an origami stand for it so he could see it better while he wrote. When I made a comment about it, he said:

"Yeah, I can pretty much solve all my problems with origami. Sometimes even if I just think about origami I can come up with an answer."

wow. wish origami could solve all my problems that way.

Lydia walked up to me and said in one run-on sentence,

"Do you know what genius is? genius is amazing yeah I am amazing umcause I am foh now (showing me 4 fingers) and now I can do math yeah so much math I'm almost gonna be in Cwayton's schoo to do math did you know dat? yeah amazing."

my four year old middle school genius. right here.

Lydia:

"Do you know what I wish the world had more of? Muddy puddles. Yeah, so we can jump in them."

spoken like a true Peppa Pig aficionado.

Eliza was chatting away Sunday morning while stuffing a million pens and papers into her scripture bag.

"Did you know that I. . . love the scriptures? Yeah, it's because I read them every day with daddy and did you know that I. . . even understand them? That's because I'm old enough now."

words I hope she will always remember. . .

The kids at dinner tonight:

"just close your eyes and hold your breath."

"chew it just with your teeth and try not to let your tongue touch it."

"just try not to think about it."

"get ready to drink a whole bunch of water."

it's vegetables people. you'd think I was feeding my kids worms and spiders for dinner.

I was tucking Eliza into bed tonight for the second time after reading to her for the second time because she cried that I didn't read long enough the first time and I'm a total pushover when it comes to reading. Just as I was closing her door for the second time she said,

"Mom, do you know what I love best about books? Finding new ones. And do you know what I love even more than new books? Finding old ones that I love."

a girl after my own heart. how I love her!

Lydia:

"Do you know why Eliza and me do not wike night time? Cuz we don't wike going to bed."

that is the understatement of the universe and pretty much sums up my life right now with those girls!

Eliza watched me put the car in park, then climbed up to point to the letters on my gear shift:

"Oh I get it, P is for park. R is for. . . run into a car. N means you nailed it. But what does D mean? Dog in the road?"

all with a straight face too. while I was dying laughing. how I adore this girl!

February Quote Book 2015

Clayton has been really into soccer this year. He plays everyday. And when he's not playing he's talking about it. Today he told me:

"If there were lots of me, enough to make two teams, I would play myself in soccer. And that would be awesome because every me would be in the right place at the right time on every play. The problem with soccer is not the game itself. It's all the other people. You can never guess what they're about to do."

that's the problem with life too. but. . . it also keeps the game interesting.

We all got hit with the flu hard this week. While I was taking care of Lydia after several bouts of throwing up, she started mumbling:

"Fwoh up, kween up, fwoh up, kween up, fwoh up, kween up. It's a pattern!"

indeed it is. a very exhausting pattern.

Eliza: When I grow up I'm going to have 10 children. 5 boys and 5 girls.

Lydia: When I gwo up I going to hab 10 childwen too.

Eliza: What are their names?

Lydia: Da boys names are Taynem, Baynem, Krayshem, Nayshem, and Mayhem.

lets hope they don't all live up to their names. . .

The girls always ask me to tell them stories about when I was a little girl. They especially love to hear stories about all my animals. So after telling them about "Snowball" my pet mouse that got eaten by the cat when I neglected it in the sandbox for a few minutes and my pet rabbit "Scratchy" who was so mean (thus the name!) we had to give him away, Lydia piped up with her own story:

"Now, I'm going to tell you about when I was a widdoh girl. One time I had a pet mouse named "Snowball" and I took weally good cayoh of it. I nevoh left it awone in the sandbox and it nevoh got eaten by a cat. The end. Then I had a pet wabbit named "Scwatchy" but he was a weally nice wabbit and he nevoh scwatched anyone. We kept him fowevoh. The end."

trumped once again by my toddler.

Nate and I were talking about the upcoming PTO event. Lydia interrupted with a stomp of her foot and announced:

"I hate PTO! It's too long and too boring and too thirsty!"

poor girl. can you tell she's been sitting through long PTO meetings with me this year?

Every morning, after Nate finishes scripture reading with the kids at breakfast, he asks them if they have any questions. And every morning for months Lydia asks the same completely off-topic question:

"Why do people get married?"

Great question, right? But after months of this, it's become a very funny family joke. Still, we all come up with new and thoughtful answers every morning. This morning she added another question:

"Also, why do people get baptized?"

Great question, right? We all gave thoughtful answers to that too. And then she replied,

"No, it's because you get to wear a white dress when you get baptized and when you get married."

all along. . . it's been about the dress.

Eliza and Lydia were combing Nate's hair. I walked in and said, "Oh, you look so handsome!"

to which Eliza quickly replied,

"He looked more handsomer when he got married."

uh. thank you? I think?

Isaac has been reading and studying like crazy for Name That Book tryouts. The day after he took the test I found him completely engrossed in one of the required NTB books. I said, "Isaac, you took the test already and you don't even know yet if you made it on the team! You don't need to study those books today." He looked at me confused said, "I know, but I love these books." Then after a pause he looked up again and said, "I'm in it for the books, mom." 
oh the lessons we learn from our children. what wise advice: be in it for the books. or the music. or the game. whatever you're doing, be in it for the right reasons.

Nate sent roses for Valentine's Day. The girls opened the door when they arrived.

Eliza: Wow, it says "for Emily". Who sended you those?

Me: I don't know, I guess daddy did.

Eliza: Your daddy?

Me: No yours.

Eliza: Daddy sended them to us?

Me: Well, he sent them to me.

Eliza: Oh you mean Nate sended them to you. When you love each other you have to say Nate.

Lydia: Yeah, or Nay-fun. Sometimes you can say Nay-fun.

what's in a name, right? a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

December Quote Book

Me: Lydia, you kinda smell funny.

Eliza: That's because she drank toilet water and some spilled on her feet.

Me: What?? You did?

Lydia: (singing) Yup, I did!

no shame. and this is coming from the girl who refused to eat a biscuit with honey-butter because it "looked yucky".

Me: Eliza! How was your day? What did you learn today at school?

Eliza: We learned F words!

if only everyone could be in pre-k where fish, frogs, flip-flops, and friends are the words of the day. the world would be a better place.

Eliza found a pet roly poly bug in the backyard which she cooed and coddled over:

"I want to be a bug-take-care-of-er when I grow up. But not mosquitoes. Mosquitoes don't like to be take cared of."

ambitions. . .

Eliza and Lydia were watching Charlie Brown's Christmas. When I asked them about it, Eliza said,

"It's crazy that those kids don't even have a mom!"

crazy.

One afternoon I noticed all the shepherds, wise men, and josephs missing from our nativity sets. When I asked the kids about the missing figures Lydia announced,

"All the boys are bad guys and they had to go to jail."

I found them all locked in her mermaid lunch box. feminist.

Conversation in the bath:

Eliza: Do you remember when we only had cold water and dad putted hot water in a pot and then putted it in the bath for us?

Lydia: Yesh, I weemember dat.

Eliza: We have a nice dad, don't we Lydia.

Lydia: Yesh, we hab a weeelly nice dad.

Eliza: Do you remember when dad take-ted us to the mermaid park?

Lydia: Yesh! I do weemenber dat! And we saw mermaids!

Eliza: We have a nice dad, don't we Lydia.

Lydia: Yesh, we do.

so cute. see? good deeds never go unnoticed.

Lydia's life is a constant song. She sings to unload all her thoughts. Here's the one Nate and I listened to in the car on our drive back from Florida:

"Do not hit and do not push cause dat is not nice to doooooooooo. You have to hug and kiss kiss kiss but do not hit or push. Pwinces and pwincesses and ballewinas dance and I want a phone like Cwayton!"

Eliza was interested in Clayton's phone:

"Clayton, can your phone even make calls?"

hard to believe, but there was a time when making calls was all phones could do.

July and August Quote Book

Eliza was looking at an old photograph of my sisters and me:

"Mom, you should've growed white hair so you could be pretty like your sisters."

an entire lifetime of insecurities. just tapped.

Lydia in Clayton's bathroom smearing deodorant on her lips:

"I put dapdick on, Mommy!"

Lydia in my bathroom with black mascara streaks up her cheeks and all over her hair:

"I put or makeup on, Mommy!"

Lydia in her bathroom squirting soap on the toothbrushes:

"I put toofpaste, see?" (tastes it, scowls.) "No, dis is not toofpaste."

Lydia in my bathroom again with the dental floss completely unraveled:

"I getting my teef out."

Lydia in the downstairs bathroom dipping and mopping the toilet seat with a bath towel:

"I make mess but now I queen it."

The first day back from vacation, Brigham said,

"Wow, you really must've missed us Dad. Because you played soccer with us and made scrambled eggs for breakfast and grilled hot dogs for dinner."

it's the little things. . . and yes, he did miss us.

Eliza was just finishing up a note to Isaac, "Oh, Isaac's really gonna love this!" So I glanced over to see what she'd written. The note said:

"Isaac Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum Bum"

Then she held it up to me smiling and then, pointing to each Bum, sang Darth Vader's Imperial March.

Nate took Lydia to the doctor. On the way he reassured her by telling her not be scared, that he would be with her. She said okay. . . and then after awhile asked,
"Daddy? Are there monsters at the doctor?"

Eliza was playing "Mommy" with her dolls. She came up to me with "children" in each of her arms and announced,

"I'm teaching my children today. But how do moms teach their children?"

My heart swelled! "With love, kind words, and a lot of patience." I beamed.

"And with chocolate chips? And Skittles?"

okay, fine. and sometimes that too.

We were in a rush to get out the door when Isaac yelled,

"Wait! We can't leave yet! Brigham is in a body-bind and I don't know the counter-spell!"

we never did find the counter-spell so Brigham hopped like a spring out to the car and then remained with his arms and legs bound through the duration of Lydia's speech class. it's tough being a wizard.

I was making preparations for Isaac's Harry Potter party and talking to myself, ". . . and then I'll make the chocoalte frogs."

Lydia overheard and looked at me confused,

"Chocolate fwogs? Dat is weird. Dose are not fo eating!"

one day, my little underage wizard, you too will understand the magic of chocolate fwogs.

Eliza was looking through a "history of flight" encyclopedia when she came across a picture of Mary Poppins.

Eliza: Mom, who's that?

Me: What? Truly I've failed you. You don't know who Mary Poppins is? Eliza, you'd like Mary Poppins.

Eliza: I would? Is she very princessful?

princessful? nope, not in the least. but she'd like that word.


Lydia talking about her first day of preschool:
Me: Did you have fun?
Lydia: yup.
Me: Did you play outside?
Lydia: yup.
Me: Did you make any new friends?
Lydia: wots and wots of fwends.
Me: What else did you do?
Lydia: I went potty two times. I wash my hands two times.
Me: Wow, what else?
Lydia: Nuffing. Just pwojects.
sounds like a great day to me. potty and projects. preschoolers have the best life.


Eliza's report about school.
Eliza: Something really really scared my teacher today. She was sooooo scared.
Me: What?
Eliza: Somebody. . . (eyes wide) standed. . . on their. . . chair! 
scary things happen everyday. apparently even in Pre-K.


Eliza, out of the blue:
Mom, you are lucky that Heavenly Father gave-ded you five children. You are so happy to got all of these kids.
it's true. I might just be the luckiest mom alive. . .

May and June Quote Book

Grocery shopping with the boys:

Isaac: Chicken Thighs? Is that like the chicken's rear end?

Clayton: No, it's the chicken's thighs. Just like it says. If it was the chicken's rear end it would say that.

Isaac: Oh yeah.

both boys were completely serious.

Clayton's analysis:

"The Little Mermaid is a mermaid who wants to be a girl. Lydia is a girl who wants to be a mermaid. Therefore, Lydia is a girl who wants to be a mermaid who wants to be a girl."

Eliza:

"Do you know why I love to swim? Because my hair looks so beautiful in the water."

spoken like a true girl. . .

Deep Thoughts by Clayton:

"If you lived in an amusement park. The rest of the world would just be boring."

either that, or amusement parks would.


Brigham: I think I want to have a monkey birthday.
Isaac: Brigham, that's just like having a human birthday. 
Brigham: What??? No it's not.
Isaac: Yeah, because humans are primates. You didn't know that? 


Lydia came walking out of the bathroom legs, shoes, everything from the knees down dripping wet.
Me: Whoah, what happened?
Lydia: I wash my feet in the toilet!
Me: What? No, no, no, no, no. . .
Lydia: My feet is aww queen!
Me: No, we don't put our feet in the toilet.  That's really yucky.
The next day. . . splashing noises from the bathroom. . .
I find Lydia with both hands - up to her elbows - in the toilet.
Me: No!!! No, no, no, no. . .What are you doing?
Lydia: I wash my ands in the toilet!  I not wash feet. Dat yucky.

Isaac was impressed with my parallel parking skills (thank you Chicago!)

"Mom, that was awesome driving. I'll tell you the two things that you are best at. Cleaning and driving."

gee thanks bud. sadly, that pretty much sums up my life.

Isaac's class hatched chicks this year.

"I always thought chicks were just soft fluff-balls but they're not. Chicks are actually full of bones."


Clayton: How do you spell death?
Isaac: D-E-A-T-H
Clayton: Thanks.
Isaac: No prob. If ever you need to know how to spell death again? I'm your man.

Lydia came and found me today after stumbling twice over shoes and Legos:

"ore housh ee a mesh."

yes. my house is a mess. get used to it, kiddo. it's only the first day of summer and it'll only get worse.  You know it's really bad when the three-year-old notices.

March and April Quote Book

Eliza (as always) asked Clayton for a piggyback ride on the way home from school. Isaac and a friend were walking a few paces behind them and I heard his friend ask why Clayton always gives Eliza a piggyback ride. I loved Isaac's answer:
"Because Eliza is a cute and funny little sister. And because Clayton is a. . . (I was holding my breath for an insult) Clayton is. . . exceptional."


I just finished reading the book, "Goodnight Gorilla" to the girls and I asked them, "Would you be surprised to find a real gorilla in your bed when you woke up?" Eliza's eyes lit up:
"No, but I would be surprised to find a real puppy when I woke up! Oh yes! Yes! a puppy! Puppy! Oh thank you, mom! I can't wait to wake up for a real real puppy!"
wait a minute. who said anything about a puppy?


At the grocery store Eliza was trying to convince me to buy her some gum. She talks a million miles an hour.
"Please? I'll write you a nice note when we get home that says 'Iloveyouyou'rethebestmomever' and I promise when I'm grown up I'll give you gum. . . when you're a grandma. . . because grandmas love gum."now that's a hard bargain. it takes a strong woman to not give in to this girl!

As soon as the girls were dressed for church, I said, "Well, there's some pretty little girls." Eliza replied,
"Except me. I'm not pretty little any more. Now I'm pretty grown-up."
and pretty awesome if I do say so myself.


During the court of honor last night Eliza went missing. When I asked Brigham if he'd seen her he said,
"Yeah, she's in the primary room for grown-ups."
you mean the Relief Society room?


Right when the postman came to the door, Lydia walked out of the bathroom looking for someone to help her with her pants and underwear which she was holding (not wearing). The boys exploded in laughter and the postman nervously shuffled his boxes. The awkward moment was diffused by Isaac who turned to the postman and thumbing back at Lydia said,
"Potty training. It's a nasty but funny business."
you can say that again.


On the way home from the Lego Movie, Clayton was analyzing the logic of the movie. I just heard bits and pieces, ". . . because logically it doesn't make sense to have. . . it would need a. . . to function reasonably. . . so logically. . ." Finally Isaac chimed in,
"Clayton. Just stop. You're ruining the movie for me with all your scientific blabitty-blah."

January and February Quote Book

Girls: Daddy will you play "Bear" with us?
Nate: Sure (getting down on all fours) Rarr! Rarr!
Girls: (giggling, climbing on his back) Wheee! Hold on to the bear!
Nate: Rarr! Rarr! I'm tired. (flops down and starts fake snoring)
Girls: Aw, wake up bear! Wake up!
uh. . . this isn't the same "Bear" game I remember when the boys were little. Can't tell if the bear's gotten older or if it's just different with girls.


 Eliza kept asking when it would snow.  I finally said, "Sorry to break it to you, but it doesn't ever snow here." to which she quickly replied,
"Oh, only in heaven?"
yes. . . sometimes the best things only happen in heaven.  or Oakley.  which is close enough.


Isaac: Oh wow!  Look at this tank!
Eliza: Oh wow!  Look at this tank!
Isaac: Eliza I just said that.
Eliza: Eliza I just said that.
Isaac: Are you copying me?
Eliza: Are you copying me?
Isaac: Isaac is so awesome!
Eliza: Isaac is so awesome!
Isaac: Isaac is the coolest most amazing person in the world!
Eliza: Isaac is the coolest most amazing person in the world!
Isaac: Isaac is my favorite brother.
Eliza: ummmm. . . Clayton is my favorite brother.
ouch. game over.


Eliza was jumping on her bed at night. grrrr. She fell and hit her head.  When I rushed in to see what happened I found Eliza on the floor crying and Lydia watching from her bed singing "5 Little Monkeys".
"No mo numpees numpah nohmma bed!"
of course nothing was enunciated but the fact that she could tattle on Eliza, give her sister a lecture, and make a joke all at the same time had us all laughing ourselves silly.


A few days after Valentine's, I noticed Brigham kept one card from a girl in his bedside drawer.  Inside the card was a hand written note that said, " Brigham you do funny things.  You make me laugh." When I asked Brigham what was special about this girl he said,
"Oh I don't even know who it's from.  I just kept it because it says I make people laugh and since that's my goal at school. . . I like it the best."
what? that's your goal at school?  um, how 'bout I give you some other suggestions. . . um. . . like work hard?  or do your best? or be respectful?  how about a goal to NOT make people laugh? 


This afternoon I called upstairs for Eliza.  Before I had a chance to tell her why I needed her, she quickly called back,
"I didn't do it!"
uhhh. . . Eliza?  you didn't do what????


Brigham competed in a piano competition. Afterwards he said,
"You know what the best part about the competition was?  The piano.  It sounded. . . aw. . .awesome!"
yeah, that's what playing on a Steinway does.  glad to know that that was your favorite part and not the gummy lifesavers I bought you from the vending machine.

December 2013 Quote Book

This is a note I found in Isaac's backpack. He wrote it in the principal's office after apparently getting out of hand in Music Class:
What I did:
1. Acted funny
2. Said things like "snarf"
3. Danced with the music stand
4. Put my music upside down
5. Called out the right answer
6. Acted bored
What I should do:
1. The opposite of everything above which is: Not act funny. Not say "snarf". Not dance with the music stand. Not look at my music upside down. Not call out answers even they're right and no one else knows the answer. Not act bored.
2. Listen and play well. Have fun. But just not too much. 
whew. . .do you see what we deal with? and yet, I can't help but love this kid.


Lydia is going through a "hitting" stage. And although she never hits hard enough to hurt, we've had to crack down on it as a matter of principle. This is how our conversation went today after she got in trouble for hitting Eliza:
Me: You know better. Do we hit, Lydia?
Lydia: Nooooooooooo!
Me: You're righ. . .
Lydia: We not hit Wydia. We hit Ewhyza!
Me: No. . . We don't hit.
Lydia: Yesh. We hit Ewhyza! 
she says smiling. gah! do you see why I lose my mind trying to reason with her?


Nate was getting projects done around the house and yard, and Eliza was following him around. After a while he said she needed to stay away, because she was distracting him and tools can be dangerous for little girls. He was in the garage grinding down a metal latch when she climbed over the mess of bicycles and toys behind him and yelled,
"Hi Dad! I'm not going to bother you this time!"


Eliza and Brigham were having a debate about whether Eliza was "grown-up" enough to play Clayton's new board game.
Brig:You're not even close to being a grown-up, Eliza. You're just a little kid.
Eliza: Well, you're a little kid too and I'm almost as tall as you.
Brig: I'm a little kid. But you're a toddler
Eliza: Yes! You're right. I'm taller!

November 2013 Quote Book

Our favorite game to play with Lydia:
Us: See you later alligator.
Lydia: No, I lion.
Us: See you later alligator
Lydia: No, I doggy.
Us: See you later alligator.
Lydia: No, I crocodile.
Us: See you later alligator.
Lydia: No, I monkey. 
do you see where this is going? yeah, she's a little defiant.


Jess was teaching Junior Primary about keeping our bodies healthy.
Jess: What are some things that we should not eat?
Sunbeam: We should not eat markers or crayons or pencils.
Jess: That's right, we should not eat markers or pencils.
Sunbeam: Or crayons!!!
Jess: Or crayons. Can anyone think of any more food. . . or non-food items that we should not eat?
I'm tellin' ya, everything you'll ever need to know you can learn in primary.


Clayton's friend came home with us after school today. He's an only child and I always appreciate his perspective. Before we even got to our house he said,
"I like coming to your house. Every time I come something strange and unexpected always happens. Someone tripping or screaming or banging or jumping out with a plastic sword. . ."
yeah, well. it might seem strange and unusual to you. but believe me. it's all perfectly usual for us.

As soon as we got into the house he immediately armed himself with a foam sword, shield, and helmet. The other kids were emptying their backbacks and finding snacks. I looked at Clayton's friend all decked out. He said,
"One of the things I learned at your house is no matter what, you always have to be prepared for an attack!"
huh. words to live by. . . . here, give me that.


Eliza and Nate were reminiscing about our summer road trip to Disneyland. Eliza finally sighed and said,
"I wish we goed on a trip again because I love tripping"


It was Friday night and the kids were debating whether to watch a movie or play outside and then do reading. Isaac's comment convinced everyone:
"Let's play outside and then do reading because when mom reads to us it's just like watching a movie! That way it'll be like doing both!"
my reading skills are pretty awesome, I must say. thanks Isaac. best. compliment. ever.


Nate noticed I got my hair cut:
"You got your hair cut. I like it."
thanks.
"How much did it cost?"
fourteen dollars.
"That's why I like it!"
uhhhh. . . still not sure if that was a compliment or not.


Eliza came out of preschool with a huge chain of paper dolls. She could barely carry it.
Me: Wow, that's a lot of paper dolls!
Jess: It's your family. Does that make you feel better?
sure enough. there were all were. Eliza had colored us all with our each of our favorite colors. the only glitch was Nate who was drawn as a cat because, as she explained, she didn't know of any other way to draw whiskers.

October 2013 Quote Book

I was trying to round up the kids for a quick picture in their medieval Halloween costumes.  The girls were galloping around the yard.  Brigham and Isaac were sword fighting.  And Clayton was sauntering into position gnawing on a snack.  I finally got them grouped up and in place and said, "okay, I don't want string cheese in the picture Clay."  Without even blinking he responded,
"Tis not cheese me lady.  Tis rare forest pickins."
oh how easily they fall into character. . . as I snapped the picture on "cheese", I thought me heard a, "rare forest pickins!" from someone in there. probably Isaac.  there is no end to the entertainment around here.


The kids went on a serious shopping spree at the elementary school book fair. On the way home Brigham sighed with contentment and said,
"I loved everything I got at the book fair.  Even the air I breathed there!"
just as I was about to crack a joke about school gymnasium air, he added,
"I mean, at least the air was free!"
ha! at least that's one thing! that lucky book fair made bank off us this year.


Nate and Eliza were playing tic tac toe on the kids menu at a restaurant.  After Eliza "won" the first match, she giggled and squealed,
"I won! I won! Let's play again. . . and this time you win, Daddy, okay?"
if only life could always be fair like this. . .


We were in the check-out line at Target. The body-builder Latino guy in front of us was wearing a pink shirt.  Eliza squealed with excitement.
"Look! Pink! That man is wearing a pink shirt for my birthday!"
the guy looked.  Eliza smiled her sweetest smile and then holding up her fingers she announced,
"I'm having a Pinkalicious party because I'm four!"
not quite sure it was as bonding of a moment for him as it was for her.


Mermaids are a big topic at our house.
Eliza: But where is the Little Mermaid's mom?
Me: Hm, I guess she doesn't have one.
Eliza: But she needs one! She really needs a mom!
yes. she. does. that girl definitely needs a mom.

September 2013 Quote Book

Isaac was having a rough day. Falling to pieces. Yelling.
Isaac: Everywhere I go I get in trouble! If I go upstairs I get in trouble! If I go in the piano room I get in trouble! If I go in the toy room I get in trouble! If I go outside I get in trouble! I'm just always in trouble! So where am I supposed to go?
Me: Hmm, I can only think of one place where you won't get in trouble. Mars.
flipping into a perfect astronaut voice and without missing a beat
Isaac: Come in earth. This is Mars speaking. We have trouble. I repeat, trouble on Mars. Over.
I laughed.
Me: Well in that case, I guess the only place where you won't get in trouble is. . . my arms.
that was a good hug. full of smiles.


Everyone was quiet while the sacrament was being passed. Lydia opened a hymn book and began thumbing through the pages. Suddenly she exclaimed,
"I singing mommy! I mermaid!"
And then she went right into her (very loud) rendition of Ariel,
"Aaahhh, Aaahhh, Aaaaaaaahhhhhh. . ."
We tried our darndest (mid stifling laughter) to shush her but she wouldn't have it.
"I mermaid! Aaahhh, Aaahh, I singing, Aaahhhh, Aaaaaaaahhhhh"
our entire front and middle pew was shaking with silent laughter. . .
that night Nate and I taught our Fourth (and sadly probably not final) Family Night lesson in a row on whispering.


Conversation with Lydia:
Liddy: Momma wook! My hammas a meat!
Me: Your pajamas are meat?
Liddy: No, not meat. Meat!
Me: Meat?
Liddy: No, not meat. Meat!
Me: Meat?
Liddy: No, momma not meat. Meat!
Me: Just teasin' ya. I know what you meant. You're pajamas are pink.
Liddy: Yeah, momma. Meat.
see? I've become pro at translating wookie.


Clayton's piano teacher is always trying to get him to "tell a story" with his music. The problem is, he always disagrees with her interpretation of the musical story. Their conversations always end badly. The other day, he interupted her and said,
"You know, I realized something about music. Music is a story that everyone hears differently."
well said. . .


Nate was making pancakes. Eliza was watching him mix the batter.
"Why are you making pancakes in a throw-up bowl?"
clearly, our recent (and terrible) bout with the flu left a lasting impression.


Eliza was sick - on an IV in the ER. When the doctor came in after midnight to tell us we were finally okay to go home Eliza said,
"Home? Where's home? Is that in Utah?"
We laughed. No, it's here in Houston.
"Oh. . . Houston. (sigh) It's been a really long day."
Yes. It. Has.


The boys had some friends over for a nerf tournament. The whole house became a battle zone. At one point they discovered they could scare Eliza and make her scream - which added to the whole battle atmosphere. One of Clayton's friends (an only child) came and found me. He was holding his ears.
"Your house is a lot noisier than mine."
that, my dear friend, is the understatement of the universe.

August 2013 Quote Book

Eliza waltzed into the athletic club ahead of me today wearing her pink crocs, mismatched skirt and top, unbrushed hair, and her new "fancy" shoes (obviously too fancy to even wear) stuffed into the purse swinging from her arm. She plopped herself down on a couch, interrupting a conversation between a woman and her trainer. The lady looked at her and said, "Well, hello princess." Eliza's froze. With jaw dropped she slowly turned her head to the woman and with a breath of surprise said,
"How did you know?"
oh, the look on her face. I would have given anything to just freeze that moment in time.


Eliza was telling the story of the Three Bears today in the car. She just reached the part of the story where Goldilocks comes into the house and is about to eat the porridge:
". . . but before she did, Goldilocks got a really great idea. She quickly shut the door and locked it really tight."
smart. . .very smart girl, that goldilocks. sneaky. but smart.


Eliza built a big something out of Legos. The top was covered in Lego flowers. She was so proud to show me her creation:
"Look mom! I built a war machine!"
nice. my poor daughter. I guess that's just what you build when you have all older brothers.




We were at the ward pool party tonight and I overheard one of the older kids in the ward compliment Eliza on her swimming. "Did your mom teach you to swim like that?"
"No, my mom doesn't know how to swim. When I grow up to be a mommy I won't know how to swim either."
ouch. yeah, when you grow up to be a mommy you'll be sitting in the baby pool with babies for ten years just like me. give me a few more years and I'll be out there swimming with the best of 'em.


I was explaining to the children where (and who) each of their names come from. Afterwards Isaac announced,
"When I grow up I'm going to name my first son Wilbur and my second son Orville after the Wright brothers. Then I'm going to name my third son Doolittle after James Doolittle and the famous Doolittle Raid during WWII. And if I have a daughter I'm going to name her Jemima from the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang."
he was dead serious. It's good he's got a few more years to really think on that. . . for his children's sake.


Lydia talks. You can't understand a darn word but at least she talks. Today she was following me around the kitchen trying to get my attention. . .
Lydia: Mommy a nome, a nome, a nome mommy. A dee a nome?
Me: Yes, I see your phone. Who you gonna call? Ghost busters?
Lydia: No, a not dahw a doh buh-doh. a dahw a daddy a nome.
Me: Oh, okay. Well tell daddy hi from me, alright?
Lydia: oday mommy.
and then she went off in her own imaginary (unintelligible) conversation with daddy on her play phone.


We have been having an ant invasion. They have discovered the jackpot. Underneath Lydia's seat. One night while I was attempting to stop the ants in their tracks with dish soap, Brigham called from upstairs wondering why I hadn't come up yet to read to him. Isaac answered for me,
"She can't come now! She's busy fighting crime!"
that's right, folks. don't mess with me and my dish soap.

July 2013 Quote Book

Today Eliza said (in her best storytelling voice),
"Do you remember when we went to Utah? That is a land far, far away."
yeah. a land too far away for my taste.


Lydia finally learned all our names:
Wayne (Clayton)
Die-dik (Isaac)
Nemo (Brigham)
Aye-ya (Eliza)
Eee-ya (Lydia)
Wayne and Nemo are the ones that still crack everyone up.


The boys were shutting each other inside a cardboard box and then raucously shoving it into walls, pounding, beating and karate chopping it. I was shocked. It sounded so brutal. "Stop! What do you think you're doing?" just then Isaac popped his head out of the box.
"What? It's fun! It feels exactly like Space Mountain!"
I'm sure Disney would be just thrilled to hear that.


Nate was taking Clayton home teaching with him for the first time. Nate usually goes with his companion and has only needed to take one of the boys along once before - and it was Isaac. Isaac had some advice for Clayton before they left:
"Home teaching is great, Clay. You'll love it. You just have to remember, home teaching is more than an adventure. It's an art. You got that?"


Nate was teaching the boys about computers. "Do you know what a port is?" Isaac answered without hesitation,
"It's the side of a ship. The port side."


The boys built a fort in the crawlspace under the porch at the ranch. They really wanted me to come see it. Um, no.
"But it's so awesome, mom! If you come, we'll show you the bones we have in there!"
ew. definitely no.


Nate was pointing out the scenery along our drive, "Look, I see red rocks!". Apparently Eliza was the only one who cared,
"Oh wow! And pink ones!"

June 2013 Quote Book

We went to visit Nate's grandma in Provo. His cousin's motorcycle was parked in the driveway. Isaac and Brig were in total awe,
"Whoa! We never knew Grandma Nina drives a motorcycle!"


As we were leaving Disney. . .
Nate: Well, say good-bye to Disneyland. This is our last night.
Eliza: Um, no. I think we're just going to stay here.
don't we all wish. . .


The kids were in rafts, "cleaning the moss" out of the pond. It was very counterproductive to say the least. Here's a conversation I overheard from the shore.
Brig: I saw a snake!
Issac: You did? What did it look like?
Brig: Um. . . it looked. . . really. . . snake-ish.
Isaac: Oh yeah, I know which one your talking about. I saw that one too.


The kids were digging waterways in the sandbox. Isaac had a moment of frustration.
Isaac: Grrrr, my bridge is destroyed every time the water comes through!
Clay: It's called erosion, Isaac.
Isaac: Well, I hate erosion.
I think it's time I take my kids to see the Grand Canyon.


The boys were playing games on the trampoline. Clayton came running in with two deep bloody gouges on his knee.
Me: Ahh, what happened? What went through your knee?
Clay: My teeth.
that's one way to play "crack the egg" I guess.


Eliza came home from church with a book she made, titled "I Have Feelings". It read:
Page 1: I am sad when my mommy says I can't go swimming or have a treat.
Page 2: I am mad when mommy won't let me have a treat.
Page 3: I am happy when mommy gives me candy!
hmm. my plan to cut back on sugar is clearly taking it's toll.

May 2013 Quote Book

The afternoon after the National Piano Guild Competition I announced that there would be no piano practicing for the day. There was an eruption of cheers. And then. . .
Brig: But wait. What about Guild? Don't we have to practice for Guild?
Me: We already did it today, remember?
Brig: You mean. . . that was Guild?
obviously the biggest piano competition of the year was a little anticlimactic for him.


Clayton was in his room working busily and quietly when Isaac charged in with a foam sword and armor. After a few moments of loud ruckus, Clayton burst from the room with disheveled hair and between breaths shouted to the world,
"Isaac. . . can you please. . .stop. . . being. . . so. . . so. . . warlike?"
yes, please. it's my one hope in life. for all my children.


Eliza's friend was over at our house again. This time talking about camping. Eliza was of course listening wide-eyed:
"You mean, you've been real camping?"
oh you're kidding me, right? we just did the zoo. and now we've got to break out our camping gear? sheesh we really need to get more boring friends.


Eliza likes to tell me everything naughty Lydia has been up to. It's actually helpful sometimes to have an extra set of eyes on her. But lately Eliza has become quite the tattler - making up her own vocabulary as she goes,
"Mommeee, Lydia won't sklip off my blanket"
well that's because she's not old enough to sklip yet. sorry.
"Mommeee, Lydia thinks this sharshy is hers."
sharshy??  What's a. . .? never mind. everyone knows sharshies are for sharing. 
"Mommeee, Lydia's being greasy to me."
oh dear. anything but greasy.


Nate left to run some errands and told Isaac to sweep the garage while he was gone. This job should have taken at least 30 minutes, but after only a few he came slinking into the house giggling uncontrollably. When I asked him about it? He said, "Mom, you'll never believe this. It's just like Tom Sawyer!" and then recounted this conversation to me:
Brig: Hey, Isaac! Do you want to play basketball with me?
Isaac: Um no, not right now. I'm doing something else.
Brig: What are you doing?
Isaac: Sweeping the garage.
Brig: Hey, can I try?
Isaac: No, Dad said only I can do it.
Brig: Please?
Isaac: Nope.
Brig: Please?
Isaac: Okay fine. You can sweep the rest. Just don't tell Dad I let you.
Brig: Oh, I promise.
sho enough Brig was out there for the next 30 minutes sweeping. Nate came home to a clean garage and not a word was mentioned otherwise.

April 2013 Quote Book

Eliza's friend was at our house talking about the zoo. Eliza was so intrigued,
"You mean, you've been to a real zoo?"
ouch. hmm, guess it's high time I take my girls on an outing that doesn't involve science or sports.


Clayton describing his game strategy:
"Don't worry, I've got a plan up my nose."
sleeve, kiddo. the phrase is up my sleeve.


Isaac came to me with this confession:
"Mom, there's something I did that I really really regret. When I was all the way back in kindergarten I pretended to spin around like a ballerina. All the kids thought it was so funny but to this day I've always regretted that."
huh. yeah, I could see that.


I had just put the girls in bed. Eliza was whining that she wanted this and that and not that! but more of this. Oh, and could I read her another book. Then Clayton needed me so I finally told Eliza quite forcibly,
"The answer is no. It's late and I don't have time."
I realized as soon as I said it that Clayton had been holding out the phone. "Mom, it's for you."
oh. uhh. oops. "Helllllooooo?"
Nate's counselor from church was shocked to be greeted so rudely and apologized profusely for calling so late (it was 7:00) and that he was sorry to be taking up my time.


Isaac came out of school today looking glum,
"My behavior wasn't that great today. Grrr, I just wish there was a cure for lack of willpower."
don't we all. don't we all.


Clayton was reading an article in the National Geographic about the possibility of bringing (cloning) animals back from extinction. He had never heard of cloning before and came in to talk to me.
"Mom, there are scientists that think they can bring extinct animals back to life. But it wouldn't be the same animal it would be one just exactly like it with the same DNA. But if they can do that, then they could do that to like a pet. . . or a person. Huh. That doesn't sound right, though. What if there were two of me? One would be me but the other would be my exact body but without my spirit. It would be like a wild animal Clayton or something. (chuckle chuckle) Weird. But wait! What if someone got their arm cut off? They could make another arm! Huh, this article is kind of interesting."
I didn't say a word. I just stood there shocked. In 15 seconds that kid just completely buzzed through every conceivable moral side of the issue. and then he tossed the magazine aside and went on his merry way.


I was explaining to the girls that we needed to go to the pet store. "Do you want to see the animals at the pet store? Hamsters and fish and mice?"
"Oh yes! And unicorns?"ummm. no. sorry. nothing that exciting.


"Mommy can you go check your hiccup for some chiptack?"
huh? translantion: can you go check your make-up for some chapstick?

March 2013 Quote Book

 The kids were told they could each find 14 eggs for our backyard Easter egg hunt.  Isaac (after I made him put some back) had 14 including a colored hard-boiled egg (there were a few of those hidden as well).
"Okay, I have 14 mom.  But this one's not real.  Can I exchange this one for a real Easter egg?"
um. actually.  that one's real.  it's the plastic candy-filled eggs that are fake.  what has the world come to?


Eliza's friend was over playing with the dollhouse. She was instructing all the dolls that,
"Tonight will be a crazy night, okay? That's when the mom has to do everything fast."
and then she ran through the play-dinner and bedtime routine in super-speed.
sounded all too familiar. I was glad to hear my house isn't the only one with "crazy nights"


Eliza came running inside wide-eyed and breathless with excitement,
"Mom! Mom! Guess what? I saw the sky and the sky is. . . blue!"
you're kidding. now go check and see if the grass is green. . . and if the world is round!


I pulled out my box of plastic Easter eggs from past Easter egg hunts. The girls dug right in.
Eliza: Can we have them? Do these have candy in them?
Me: You can play with them. They're all empty though.
Eliza: (opening an egg) Huh? candy! I found candy! (she opened one for Lydia) Look more candy!
whuh? sure enough, the eggs were still full. . . hm, looks like I won't need to buy Easter candy this year after all.


On Saturday morning I left the girls at home with Nate while I took the boys to swimming lessons. Lydia watched us leave and then the second we were out of view she turned to Nate with a grin,
"Aya ah ah-ah uh-ah legos daddy?"
yeah, she's figured it out. now that the competition's gone, she knows what fun it is to have daddy's attention all to herself.


I thought of a song the other day that the boys just loved when they were Eliza's age. I began singing "There was an old woman who swallowed a fly". The boys joined in, getting louder and more creative with every verse until we were finally belting and laughing the raucous, "There was an old lady who swallowed a horse. She DIED OF COURSE!"
Eliza just stared at us. Horrified.
"Don't sing that song ever again. That's a bad song."
hmm. I guess it is a bit morbid.


Eliza refuses to eat bananas nowadays (even though she used to love them) Why?
"Because bananas are too ugly. I only like pretty food."
which reminded me of comments I heard at the dinner table a few nights ago - very telling (again) of my children's personalities:
Isaac: I think that food should always look better than it tastes. That's my opinion. (as he topped his perfectly arranged spaghetti with a beautiful sprinkle of cheese.)
Clayton: That's not very logical. Why do you care what it looks like, as long as it tastes good? The taste is the important thing. (as he stirred big messy piles of cheese into his tangled spaghetti.)