"Is that Santa Claus sad because it's not Christmas anymore or because he misses the North Pole?" (he says loudly about the white-bearded homeless guy outside of SuperCuts)
Uhhhhh. . . (giving the poor man an apologetic look) ........................................................................................................
"There's something wrong with Isaac's Chitty Bang Bang" (seriously worried)
Yeah, I know. The wheel is broken.
"No. Not that. Look! It says 'Made in China' (pointing to the words and looking at me with utter betrayal) But this was 'pos to be made at the North Pole!"
Uhhhhh. . . it's called outsourcing?
.........................................................................................................
"Are some Daddies Santa Claus?"
Uhhh. . .(Oh Crap. He knows. . .)
"Because some daddies are lawyers and I know some are hotel owners like I want to be."
(Phew. . . Santa is an occupation)
"So are some daddies Santa?"
Uhhhhh. . . I think there's only one Santa.
"Wow! You must have to learn a lot to get that job. Hmmmmm, like putting out fires. That's something you really have to learn!"
.........................................................................................................
"When giants die do they go to heaven?"
Giants aren't real. That's just something people make up when they write or tell a story.
"Did Heavenly Father make up the story about Goliath?"
Okay, Goliath was real. But he's the only real giant I know of.
"So did Goliath go to heaven?"
Uhhhhh. . . probably.
"So you can go to heaven even if you're bad? Cuz Goliath was really bad."
You're right. Goliath probably didn't go to heaven.
"So where did he go?"
Uhhhhhh. . . to. . .(not wanting to use the H word knowing full well Clayton will repeat it the next time he tattle-tales on another kid at school) Uhhhhh. . .darkness.
"What's darkness?"
It's nothing.
"So bad giants just go to nothin' when they die?"
yup.
"Hmmmmm. Did Heavenly Father only know boy giants or are some giants girls?"
Um, I can't answer anymore questions for a while. My brain is thinking of . . . nothing.
"Is your brain thinking of darkness?"
Uhhhhh. . .
13 comments:
Tough questions. Tough answers. I would expect nothing less from Clayton.
Wow, that kid is amazing. I don't know how I would answer any of those questions and he's only what five? Good luck and he gets older! :)
Hahaha oh that made me laugh!
Emily! That totally made me laugh out loud! He is funny! So, the hotel business, huh?
I feel for you Emily!!! Kids ask questions at the most inopportune
times. Pete does that to me all of the time!! His latest was, "Mom, when I grow up, am I going to be the Prophet?" uhhh......
Laughing......
Oh Emily, I can always count on your blog for some laughs. I was just talking with a friend the other day about answering kid questions. Luke also come up with question that I either don't know the answer to, or I really don't know how to put it in 6-year-old language. I usually just say, "I don't know." Like the time he asked me what sex was. Pause, (pondering look on my face) "I don't know, bud." I hope he doesn't grow up thinking his mom is a total idiot because I can never answer his questions!
I also loved the tag and felt like we must be great friends because I knew most of those things about you. I LOVED the pictures of Oakely and agree that Kamas Valley is the most beautiful place to live (although if it doesn't get warm soon I may take that back!).
That is so funny! Best post of the day! Thanks for the laughs.
That was pretty funny. Thanks!
I think it's amazing that Clayton wants to be a hotel owner when he grows up. At age 5 I still wanted to be a princess!
Check out my blog for some logic from Kate (it'll make Nate proud)!
hehe, just when we think we have all the answers.
Just in case there are giants in heaven, you might want to teach your boys how to make their own slings so they can practice. Just look at "Sling" in Wikipedia and check out the additional websites shown at the bottom of the article. When I taught my 11 year old boys in Primary about David and Goliath, I showed them how to make their own slings and how to use them (I personally became proficient while working as a river guide for 5 years). I have not heard of any bully fatalities at our local middle school, so I don't think this new skill has been misused to date.
By the way, when you get questions about sex, just tell your kids to go ask their dad. It seemed to work for Shelley. On the other hand, that may be why I already have 8 grandchildren so early in life.
Post a Comment