Lessons For My Sons From Some Really Great Fathers

Meet a few FATHERS whose attributes and examples have shaped and influenced my character, my family, my marriage, my view of other people and the world, my values and beliefs, my role as a mother, and my life. I hope that my own sons will also learn from these great men (and many others) what it means to be a really great father.

Dad

My Dad's list of accomplishments and influence in the world could fill a book. He is amazing. Besides being a dentist, bishop, mission president, husband, and father, in his spare time he also founded several humanitarian organizations that continually do good throughout the world. From the time we were little, he involved us all in humanitarian work. When I was twelve, he took me to Bolivia where I slept in a mud hut, ate with local villagers, worked with hand-made tools, and fell in love for the first time with the poorest of the poor. Throughout the years I have traveled with him all over the world and am constantly amazed by my father's ingenuity, his intuition, his calm and commanding presence, his ability to organize and act quickly, his profound respect for other cultures and customs, his gutsy travel arrangements, and his tender compassion for other people - particularly the hurt and the poor. There is a serenity about my Dad that I admire and want! He is unflappable and doesn't waste a single second of his life worrying. He can take a power nap anywhere, anytime - including the hood of his car in the heat of the day, a slab of sandstone in Southern Utah, and the log bridge behind our house. When he isn't saving the world, he enjoys a good game of backgammon, making ranch "improvements" with his backhoe, taking his grandkids on six-wheeler adventures, and dreaming up his next big project.

Lessons for my Sons:
1) The world is a big place - bigger than yourself, so go see it. Your life is small compared to the rest of the world. But one life CAN make a difference.
2) Finding a way to help others is good. But finding the best way to help others is best.
3) Use your greatest talents and resources to bless the lives of others. Be compassionate.

Nate

Nate has always been principled and disciplined. He is an overachiever in many ways and driven by duty and the pursuit of excellence. He is a man of integrity and probably the most honest person I have ever met. He is prepared and thorough in all that he does. Even at a young age he was determined to optimize his talents and be an influence for good in the world. And like everything else Nate does in life, he is also a smart and exceptionally thoughtful father. I am constantly impressed with his meaningful lessons and his sense of each child's differences, interests, and needs. I love his affection and interaction with the kids and I especially love his imagination and hilarious made-up games. He is an amazing Dad.
Lessons for my Sons:
1) Make yourselves distinctly qualified to be of service. Then don't miss the opportunities to do so.
2) Seek out the best answers. Read the best books. Be an influence for good. Do the right thing. Always.
3) Be honest.

Bill

When I think of Bill, I think of the comfort of his big leather chair, the reassurance of his arm around me when we greet, Nikedog, garlic-infused-melt-in-your-mouth beef tenderloin, and that Summer in New York when he called me from across the country, out of the blue, just when we desperately needed him. He literally pulled us through the toughest time Nate and I can remember. I could not have hoped for a better father-in-law nor could I have imagined that I'd need him and rely on his sound wisdom as much as I have. He is tender-hearted and sincerely understands other people. He loves easily and wholly and finds his greatest joy in the happiness of others. He is an anchor of kindness and wisdom to his family and all those around him. Although he keeps a demanding schedule at home, traveling with work, and as a bishop, he still finds contentment and joy in the simple comforts in life. The more I'm around him, the more I love and admire him. And plus. . . all my boys look like Grandpa Bill.
Lessons for my Sons:
1) People are important - maybe more important than anything else. Listen to them with an understanding heart.
2) Enjoy the simple things in life and learn to be content. Be kind.
3) Obtain wisdom. Wisdom will always prove more valuable than scholarly knowledge.

Pop

To me, my grandfather is the ultimate example of service and love. He spent his entire adult life on the Lord's errand serving as a missionary in Nazi Germany, mission president in Switzerland, director of the Visitor's Center in Nauvoo, temple president in Hamburg and later in Frankfurt, counselor to President Faust in the International Mission, and in 1978 he opened up the mission in black Africa and established the first official branches of the church there. (my grandma took that picture of him baptizing in Ghana - it's one of my favorites) I also just learned from Wikipedia that he graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Business School.
But here are the things I remember and love most about Pop: I remember sitting on the porch swing at the ranch and listening to him tell and draw his favorite animal stories. He loved animals (like my mom) and lectured me once for bothering a robin's nest. I felt horrible. Pop used to find pennies on the ground and give them to us, explaining that a penny found is a penny earned. He also used to say, "There are two kinds of people: the ones who pay interest and the ones who earn it." Although he was a successful businessman and politician, he wore second-hand shoes and lived modestly all his life. When he died, he left his children a generous inheritance and all his affairs in order, every last whit.
Lessons for my sons:
1) Tire yourself in the service of the Lord.
2) Live simply and keep your affairs in order.
3) Be kind to animals.

Atticus

To Kill A Mockingbird is probably my favorite book of all time. Why? Because I love Atticus Finch. He is the ideal lawyer and father. As a lawyer, he shows compassion and courage while upholding moral standards in the face of racial injustice and class discrimination. I love the way he teaches his children simply by spending time with them, listening to them, giving thoughtful answers, and by his own upright example.
I read "To Kill a Mockingbird" every year with my 6th graders in Chicago. One year we even took the train downtown to see the live theater production - a first-time experience for my "South side"students (and also for the upscale theater workers who looked very nervous to see us) When asked to name and describe their favorite character, I was always surprised that, like me, most of my students admired Atticus because as one of them said, "he know how to be a daddy."
Lessons for my sons:
1) "Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. It's knowing you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."
2) "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. . . 'til you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."
3) Be open-minded. No matter where you live, be a good neighbor and citizen.

King Benjamin

King Benjamin's farewell address in the book of Mosiah contains some of the most powerful and profound ethical logic recorded in scripture. I am impressed with him as a wise and righteous ruler. But I am equally impressed with him as a father. Before he addresses his kingdom, he first affectionately speaks to his own sons (Mosiah 1:2-8) where, after a lifetime of teaching them in the language of his fathers, he reminds them to appreciate and to search sacred records and "many more things". As a king, he left a legacy of humility and service. His uninterest in status and power was transmitted to his sons. They were neither power hungry, nor did they vie with each other for the kingdom. Their father-king had set an example for them. And his successor son even tilled the soil just as his father had done, signaling to the people that they were not required to sustain him either (Mosiah 6:7)
Lessons for my sons:
1) Put God and your family first and everything else will fall into place.
2) Study and know the scriptures.
3) Be humble.

Guido

I love this movie. Is there anything greater than the love of a father for his son? How admirable and brave of Guido not only to care for the physical well-being of his child during such horrific cruelty but to also spare his son the unimaginable fear and emotional fatigue of living in a concentration camp. Besides the gift of joy and laughter, Guido also gave his own life in the end.
Lessons for my sons:
1) Laughter is an antidote. Spare others, when you can, of needless worry or pain and live life to it's fullest.
2) Never forget that life is beautiful.

Happy Father's Day!